I Won't Say I'm In Love
by Rosie-not-Rose
Summary: Bones/Castle crossover, written for the prompt, "Brennan meets Castle at a crime writer's award evening and they discuss their respective partners." Just a bit of fun!


The final award was handed out, and Temperance Brennan sagged slightly in relief. She made her way over to the bar, perhaps a little too eagerly. Indulging in alcohol at social gatherings wasn't usually her style, but Brennan could admit that she found these types of events somewhat difficult. For a start, she had to smile the entire time. It felt unnatural, and her cheek muscles ached. She knew she was an attractive woman, and yet she felt slightly uncomfortable in the evening gown she wore. Also, there were too many social cues to attempt to read. Brennan had learnt to accept that these events were rather overwhelming for her, and in the right quantity, alcohol served as a welcome relief to slightly numb her senses.

Usually Booth would accompany her to such things, and knowing how out of place she felt, would stick to her side like glue (not literally, of course). He would make her laugh, usually at the most inappropriate moments he could manage, just by whispering something foolish into her ear. She would never admit this to Booth, but in a way he served as her alcohol, when he accompanied her to social events. Brennan couldn't help but smile as this thought entered her head. It was true, though, he did relax her. She had been disappointed to learn that he couldn't attend that night as he was spending the evening with Parker, although she appreciated that their time together was precious to both of them.

Without him, however, she felt like a fish out of water. It bothered her. She had attended many of these gatherings before Booth came into her life, why should it be more difficult now? She was far too used to having him around.

"Can I have a glass of champagne, please?" Brennan took a seat at the bar, which mercifully separated her slightly from the main area where everyone was milling around. From her position she could observe people from the sidelines, something she preferred at this moment.

"Hey," came a quiet voice from behind her.

Brennan instantly stiffened, turning round. A man stood behind her shoulder. A quick analysis told her that the man was slightly older than her, short brown hair, extremely expensive suit. Muscled. Fairly symmetrical features. Usually at this point Brennan would already be viewing this man as a possibility for romance; he was certainly intriguing. However, she couldn't summon the interest when there was another man at the forefront of her brain more prominently than ever.

"Hello," Brennan replied after a pause, rather bluntly. She turned back to her drink.

Clearly ignoring her hints, the man parked himself down on the chair next to Brennan with a cheerful air. "Can I buy you a drink?" he asked.

"I already have a drink," Brennan pointed out. "And I do not wish to engage in sexual intercourse with you," she added as an afterthought.

The man's eyes widened. "Wow. May be the bluntest rejection I've ever had. Although I wasn't actually looking to chat you up, just so you know."

"Am I not your type?" Brennan asked, curious.

The man looked her up and down. "I think you'd be everyone's type, actually."

"Oh. Well, thank you."

"You're welcome."

She eyed him. "So if you're not looking to talk me up –"

"- chat you up –"

"- then why are you engaging in conversation with me?"

"Can't a ruggedly handsome man speak to a beautiful woman without it being about sex?"

"Generally I've found the answer to that question to be no," Brennan told him.

"Wow, what jerks have you known?" He ordered himself a drink. "I'm Rick, by the way. Rick Castle."

"Oh, I've heard of you!" Brennan exclaimed loudly, making him jump. "You're the author of the Derrick Storm novels, right?"

"Right!" Castle beamed at the recognition. "Although I killed him off a while ago. And not to be rude or anything, but you are…?"

"Temperance Brennan. People call me Brennan, in general."

"Hey, I've read your books too!" Castle realized excitedly, bouncing slightly on his seat. "Look at us, bonding over our awesome success."

Brennan frowned. "You still haven't answered my question, Rick."

"Hmm?"

"Why are you talking to me? Are you, like me, avoiding social contact with a large crowd of authors, editors and publishers?"

"I figured that's what you were doing, that's why I came over to talk to you. You looked a bit lost."

"I did?"

"These social events not really your thing?"

Brennan shifted awkwardly in her chair. "No. I'm uncomfortable. Usually I have a … friend accompany me to these types of things," she admitted, exhaling heavily. "I have to admit I find myself a little lost without him."

"Boyfriend?"

"No."

"Husband?"

"Definitely not."

"Then what?"

Brennan paused, wondering how best to answer that question without revealing too much. "He's my partner. We've worked together for quite a few years now."

"How does that work?"

"Booth works at the FBI, I use my expertise in forensic anthropology to help him identify dead bodies and solve cases. We make an excellent team, and our crime solving rates are the highest at the bureau."

Castle studied her for a few moments intently. "Oh, you love him, don't you?"

Brennan's head snapped round quickly. "Sorry?"

"I'm just saying. It's pretty obvious from the look on your face when you talk about him." Castle was grinning. "How come you're not together? Is it one of those cool sexual tension type situations? They're so juicy, particularly to write –"

Brennan turned to him with an icy stare. "I will not discuss my personal life with a stranger, particularly one as unwelcoming and intruding as you seem to be." She bit out the response with clenched teeth, struck suddenly with an anger she wasn't expecting.

There was an awkward pause, before she heard Castle sigh and his shoulders sag. "Hey look, I'm sorry. I'm just nosy, that's all," he pleaded. "I didn't mean to touch a nerve."

"You didn't touch a nerve."

"I'm still sorry."

Brennan said nothing, just took a gulp of wine. There was an even longer pause, and she was considering leaving him sitting there when Castle spoke again.

"I'm in love with somebody." He said it so quietly she could almost have imagined it. She studied his demeanor. He wasn't joking. His brow was furrowed and there was no trace of a smile anymore.

"I'm guessing from the tone of your voice that you're not having sex with them?"

He blew out a breath. "Far from it."

"Oh." And suddenly, she warmed to him without even intending to. "Why not?"

"That would take weeks to explain. Although the main reason is that she doesn't love me." The pain on his face was plain for even Brennan to see, and she took in a quick breath as his face swam into her mind, carrying the exact same expression of pain.

"_Please don't look so sad."_

Brennan forced herself back into the conversation. "Did she say she doesn't love you?"

"Well, we've never had 'the conversation' per se. But it's obvious."

"Surely if you've never asked her, then you can't be entirely certain?" she wondered.

"Oh I know," Castle replied. "I drive her mad."

"Well, Booth drives me mad at times, and I know that I do the same to him, but …"

Castle glanced over at her, forgetting his own depressing thoughts for a second. "But what?"

Brennan sat up straight. "But nothing. I was finished."

A few minutes passed, both parties too caught up inside their own mess to attempt small talk. Brennan would happily have spent the rest of the night sitting in silence with this man, but apparently silence wasn't his thing.

"Look at us. We're pretty pathetic, you know."

Brennan was offended. "You may be. I am brilliant." Her confident demeanor vanished rather rapidly as Castle reached over and yanked a strand of her hair. "Ow!" she yelped, batting his hand away. "What are you, a child?"

"Always. It's more fun that way," he grinned.

Brennan returned the smile, begrudgingly. "You remind me a little of him, actually."

"Your partner?"

"Booth, yes. You're both a little stupid and immature."

"Nice, thanks."

"What's her name?"

"Kate Beckett." He didn't need to ask who she meant; his thoughts hovered around that area most of the time anyway. "We work together too. Less officially, I guess."

"Okay. Do you want to talk about her?" Brennan found herself tiptoeing around the subject.

Castle snorted. "I'm not sure she'd like that."

"Is she aesthetically pleasing?"

Castle stared at her. "You've a strange way with words. I noticed that in your books. Anyway, ha! Beckett?" He pretended to fan himself, closing his eyes. "Picture the most beautiful woman in the world. Are you doing it?"

"… I suppose."

Castle glanced at her with one eye open. "Oh god, you're picturing yourself, aren't you?"

Brennan couldn't stop herself from laughing out loud. "No, actually!"

"Okay, phew. Anyway, picture this woman. She's _the_ most attractive woman you could imagine. Then multiply her hotness by five million percent, and you have Beckett. Almost."

"She sounds like… quite a woman," Brennan said thoughtfully. "Although I'm assuming that your love for her isn't based entirely on her 'hotness'?"

"At first, it was just about that. For about a day. Then I started to discover what an extraordinary person she was." He suddenly seemed to realize where he was and how much he was revealing. "Are you sure you don't wanna talk about your boyfriend now?" he asked, looking awkward.

"He's not my boyfriend, and he has never been such a thing."

"Do you want him to be?"

Silence.

"Oh, not an outright denial this time, we're getting somewhere!" Castle pointed out triumphantly.

"This feels like… a conversation too personal to be engaging in with a stranger," Brennan replied, though she was smiling slightly.

"Actually, sometimes it's easier to admit things to someone you've never met." He leaned in closer to Brennan, maintaining eye contact. "Admit something to me. I dare you."

Brennan was taken aback by his close proximity, but she held her ground. "You're ridiculous, Rick."

"Come _on_, you'll never see me again in your life! You might as well get something off your chest that you've been wanting to for years. I did."

"By admitting you're in love with your partner?"

"Um, yeah. I've never said that aloud before, so…"

"My life is none of your business. I don't even _know_ you."

"Please?" He was using the puppy dog eyes that Booth sometimes tried on her. She didn't like it, because it often worked.

There was a very long pause in which Brennan fidgeted, and Castle almost gave up, before she spoke in a rush. "He admitted he loved me, and I broke his heart. Then the roles were reversed. Now we're both single, but he… I don't think he loves me like he did. He's so angry at me."

"Should he be?" asked Castle gently.

"I – yes. Probably. I believed I made the correct decision at the time, but it only seemed to make things worse." Her eyes were beginning to feel wet.

"And now what?"

"Now? I believe the most appropriate description would be… a waiting game. I am playing the waiting game." She looked pale and slightly stunned at her own words, staring straight ahead.

"Oh. Funnily enough, so am I."


End file.
